Well, last night I didn't sleep but maybe 4 hours, which lately that is the norm. Or go 32+ hours without sleep and still feel like the energizer bunny. Anyways, before I went to bed, I couldn't help but shake the feeling from the day.
I had talked my way into going to PHP yesterday, which is huge, because honestly if Rebecca doesn't want to do it, Rebecca won't. But I made the effort to shower, groom, so forth so that I felt up to being out in public. Once arrived there I was confronted by the new therapist that filled in for a our pregnant therapist who had called in (just a recap)
So I was angry last night that I felt that my day was pointless that I was embarrassed when he interrupted me in the middle of process time and most of all he told me "No," yup, that was my calling card to leave. (We had all just gotten comfortable with our current therapist and e all were making progress. I can't speak for the others, but for me it was a highly uncomfortable tense situation. I began really thinking about it and I think Granddaddy was saying it was time for me to graduate up to individual therapy sessions and to be discharged.
I had planned all along to discharge on Friday, but this made it more evident it must happen. I felt lost and alone and guilty and beat my self up all for what .... for that "Ahh Haa"moment to hit .....
So with the snow as flit-try and discombobulated as it falls from the sky, I too must eventually reach the ground and find home .... Peace with me, and let this be day #1 for that.
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