Already crying spells????

I woke up at 5 this morning to Nathan snoring away peacfully in my hear. Most of us can't stand that sound, but once your love is gone at night and you are only in the bed with silence, you do begin to miss that.
We began to talk a little about finances (ugh) and an order of boots I desperately was waiting on. The charge for the boots was not on the account and in essence I began to panic and go ballistic (at least on the inside).
Nathan had to run to get Jax diapers for today at Mother's Day Out, so I came to the computer too try and figure it out. Yea, I'm kinda still doing that.
Once Nathan got home, I went ballistic on the outside. It isn't about the fucking boots, it's what they represent to me. I feel I'm due those shoes because all of my shoes are tread bare and/or don't fit anymore since I had Jax. (Women's feet can grow 1/2-1 size during pregnancy and never return to the normal size)
Anyways, we were yelling and getting pissed and I just had to shut down and begin crying and realize that I can't do this on my own. (a favorite saying, not a very positive one) So I'm blogging/journaling, my #1 power tool to help me figure it out.
I just need to take a step back, do my helicopter view, look at the big picture, and figure out Fantasy? Reality? And most of all no more crying spells. Is that a realistic thin, I don't know. After all I am unwell with my Bipolar Disorder I, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Seasonal Mood Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and so forth. I just really gotta find some good phrases of empowerment for times like these.